If you missed the earlier announcements - and judging by my messages, some of you have - this blog is closing today. Just to get this out of the way here at the beginning, there will be another post coming later this evening. It’ll be a short and sweet post saying the blog is now closed. And probably some links to the source lists and whatnot, just to make it easier for people who might find their way here weeks, months, or even years from now.

But for all intents and purposes, what you’re reading now is my last post.

I started this tumblr in September 2012, so about three and a half years ago. It’s weird to think I won’t be doing it anymore. Doing this blog, and thinking about what I’m going to do on the blog, have become a regular part of my life.

I’m going to miss it. As I write this, I’m honestly sad. I’ve talked before, and just did again in the last batch of reader questions, about how I don’t think my life would be the way it is today if I hadn’t started this tumblr. So for that reason alone I’m pretty attached to this place. Doing this blog helped change my life in ways I only could have dreamed of when I started it.

But even beyond that, I’m going to miss it. Everyone probably needs a creative outlet of some sort in their life. And I’ve never been much of an artist or anything like that. So I felt like the stuff I did here gave me that outlet. I’d always been a fan of the comics and stuff that guys like Johnny Fever did. And tumblr has always been full of porn gifs. When I decided to start this blog, I thought it would be cool to see if I could kinda combine those two things and use gifs to tell little stories. And it was. I enjoyed doing it.

I’m also going to miss the interactions with people here. I’m not sure how well it came through on your end of things, but this blog really felt like a community to me. I can’t even tell you like… when I started talking about how we were moving, I got messages from people in real estate. People in banking. People with moving companies. All offering their advice, their help. And some of them offering it for free. Actually, nobody ever mentioned money, but not mentioning money and offering to do it for free are two different things. So I won’t say everyone was offering their help for free.

When I posted a couple years ago about getting kidney stones, a lot of you wrote me with advice. Including a couple doctors. Actual doctors. I remember looking at one of their tumblrs and thinking whoa, a doctor with a tumblr. Because I’m pretty sure my doctor doesn’t have one.

And now that we’re moving, I’ve gotten several letters of advice from people who have done the same thing we are. Moving to a new place to openly be a couple. And they wanted to share some of the problems they ran into and the lessons they learned so that we can hopefully avoid them.

Those are just examples of the kind of interactions I’ve had with people throughout the life of this blog. If I had ever run into some kind of problem, I honestly feel like I could have posted about it here and there would have been several people offering to help me with it. Like physically help if they could. If a reader had written in about a problem, I would have gotten letters of advice for them too.

That’s not something you find just anywhere. It’s something special. I never could have anticipated anything like that developing when I first started doing this. And then there’s all the messages I’ve gotten since saying I was closing the blog, which I also talked about in the last reader questions. It’s been really overwhelming.

I’m going to miss it. And I’m going to miss everyone who helped contribute to making it that way.

But there are things I won’t miss about doing this. I won’t miss looking for porn. Really, I probably never even needed to look for porn in the first place. With the porn I had access to the day I started, I could have made the same number of gifs I ultimately posted here.

But it goes back to that creative outlet thing I talked about before. I had ideas for stuff and I’d always end up looking for new scenes that might match some of my ideas. And it turns into this never-ending search for something that probably doesn’t exist anyway. I won’t miss doing that.

Mostly, though, I won’t miss the little nagging worry in the back of my mind that one day someone would go “Ah-ha! I know who you are!”. Was I going to say the wrong thing and a reader would realize they know us? Would tumblr get hacked and information of mine would be exposed? I’ve had those thoughts in my mind every day.

Years back, before I ever even imagined doing a blog like this, there was a message board I used to go to. They had a section there where you could post pictures to be “faked”, meaning people with advanced graphic skills would photoshop cum onto the face of the person in the pic. Or put a dick in their mouth. You know, classy stuff.

And as opposed to posting a pic of their favorite celebrity, some posters there would post pics of people they actually knew in real life. Even in some cases, their mom or their sister or whoever. It seemed like a terribly bad idea to me but people did it. And a lot of times, they would just save a picture off that person’s Facebook account and post it to the board.

But it turned out, at least at the time, when you uploaded a pic to Facebook the picture would get renamed with a certain pattern of numbers. And part of that pattern was the profile ID of the account the picture came from. If you knew that pattern, you could figure out someone’s profile ID. And once you had the ID, you could then look up the person who posted the pic.

So when these posters were saving pics off the Facebook of a girl they knew and then posting them to get “faked”, they were unknowingly providing information on how to find that’s girl’s Facebook profile. And sure enough, some people caught onto this. And I guess just for their own amusement, they started contacting the people whose pictures were being posted. Saying hey, your friend, your co-worker, your classmate, your friend’s boyfriend, your brother, your son, is posting pictures of you because he wants to see dicks in your mouth.

Then when I first started this blog, there was (from what I gathered) a pretty popular porn tumblr that had just recently disappeared. It was run by a girl and I think a lot of it was about her sexual exploits. But it just up and vanished one day. And people started to say that she deleted it because someone figured out who she was and sent the link to her parents.

Those are just two of several examples I could mention. But I’ve had stuff like that on my mind the entire time I’ve been doing this blog. It’s one of the reasons that, for instance, I’ve never taken a picture of anything and posted it here. I know you can go into the internal data of a picture and find out information, like the location the picture was taken. And it’s something I don’t know a lot about, meaning I’m not savvy enough to be certain I could remove all that before posting something. So I didn’t take any chances doing it.

The first year in particular, back before I knew how she’d react, I was somewhat paranoid that I might slip up somehow and someone would send my mom a link here. Once everything happened and I told her about this place myself, that fear went away. But it was replaced by a new one, which was that I was posting about something that isn’t legal most places.

I talked to her about that when I told her about the blog, and when we discussed whether I should keep doing it. But by then I knew she had my back and I felt a little more comfortable. And I figured that even if something like that did happen, nobody could prove that anything I was saying here was actually true. It’s not like they’d have cameras in our house. I could just be making it all up.

But once we move, that’s not going to be the case anymore. If we’re presenting ourselves as a couple, which we hope to, then nobody would need to have cameras in our house. At that point, they would only need to prove we’re related. And if they had our names, that probably wouldn’t be too difficult.

I told you a while back about concerns she raised to me. And that was, while not the only one, I’d say the biggest. And there’s really no arguing it. It would be a lot more risky to do this blog once we’re openly a couple, because at that point we’d be conceding the thing that would be hardest to prove.

Once I accepted that, I also realized that this was just a good time to stop. Some of you even pointed out that I’d gotten hypothetical questions ages ago about when I might stop doing this. Early on I said if anything ever happened between my mom and I, although I obviously didn’t stop then. But I also said if/when we moved, that would be a decent point to stop.

And that’s the way it feels for me. I’m going to miss doing this, but we’re going to be starting a whole new chapter of our lives. And before you get to a new chapter, you have to finish one. I think this is a good place for this chapter to end.

I know some of you disagree. I’ve gotten several messages from people saying they’re sad because they want to know if she and I make it, if we last as a couple. But to be honest, I’m not worried about that in the slightest little bit. And trust me, I’m someone who tends to worry about things.

She’s the only person for me. I’ve known that all along. And she told me when we first started that the relationship we’d already had for 20-some years was much too important to risk on some kind of fling that might not last. So if she had any doubts that we might not be together for good, she wouldn’t have entered into this with me in the first place. We’ve known from day one that we were going to be together forever. And I know it’s a cliche, but we fall more in love with each other every single day. So it’s nothing anyone should be concerned about.

I guess that’s really all I have to say. On the surface this big move of ours is because she’s taking a new job. She’s not starting it for a while yet, so we have a nice long time to get moved, to get settled in, and get started on our new life together.

We’ve moved a few times before, back after my parents got divorced. Including a big one similar to what we’re doing now. And every time we did, I remember sitting in the car with her, about to leave our old house, and she’d squeeze my hand and say “Here we go!”. Like we were embarking on another new adventure.

I’m really looking forward to that moment. When we’re right about to pull out of our driveway and start this latest adventure together. I’m gonna try to squeeze her hand and say it before she can do it to me, assuming she even remembers that.

I love her more than anything in the world. If any one message came through on this blog, I hope it was that. And I don’t want to hide that anymore. I want to be able to shout from the rooftops about how much I love her. And hopefully, not too long from right now, I’ll be able to.

I’m going to miss this place. I’m going to miss you guys. Thanks for being part of this with me.

BYE!

As of February 1st, a week from today, I will no longer be doing this blog.

Since I first brought this up a couple weeks ago, it’s seemed like 90% of you that have written in figured this is what would (or should) happen. So based on that, it doesn’t seem like it’ll be a surprise to most of you. But I just want to be clear that this is what I’ve decided.

I don’t plan to delete the blog. I don’t plan to give it to anyone else to run. It will stay here until tumblr decides to get rid of it for being inactive, I guess. If they even do that. I don’t know if they do.

My plan for this final week is to post all the gifs I’ve made and haven’t shared yet. I think it’s around 10 sets. I’ve posted all the stories and Johnny Fever stuff already, so there’s no more of those. I will also do one last reader questions post. As I said the other day, if there’s anything you ever felt like asking me for any reason, now would be the time.

And before I go, I will explain my decision to stop in more detail.

That’s all I have to say at the moment. The gifs will start tomorrow.

Bye.

I wasn’t really sure what to call this post. You may have noticed that I sometimes give a dramatic, important-sounding title to a post that is in no way important. Just to be dumb, you know. But this one actually is important, so I wasn’t sure what to call it.

I’ve been thinking for a couple weeks about how to address this. It’s tough because at the moment I can’t say anything with 100% certainty. But I figure it’s best to just be up front about what’s going on. So that’s what I’m going to do.

If you only recently started following, or if you haven’t been paying attention to any non-porn posts, my mom and I will soon be moving. We’ll be settling into a new home, getting used to an entirely new city, etc. etc. etc. So as all that happens, making gifs and everything is probably not going to be high on my list of priorities for a while.

Because of this, on Monday, February 1st, one of two things is going to happen.

Either…

1) This blog will be going on an indefinite break, hiatus, whatever. In other words, there won’t be any new posts after the 1st, and I can’t give you any idea of when posting will resume. But it will eventually.

or

2) This blog will be closing down.

I have been anticipating option #1 for a while now. Some of you have even written in, asking what’s going to happen when I move, and I’ve told you the blog would be going on a break for some undetermined length of time.

Option #2 only arose in the last few weeks. Just before Christmas, my mom kind of suggested that, with our move, maybe it was time for me to stop doing this. She didn’t tell me I should stop. She didn’t say she thinks I should stop. I would call it just thinking out loud. But she had some pretty sound reasons for why stopping the blog might be a good idea. And I’ll elaborate on the reasons another time if it comes to that.

But I think she just wanted to bring them up in case I hadn’t already thought about them. And for the most part, I hadn’t. She raised some issues I hadn’t considered.

Nothing was decided when we talked. We’re gonna discuss it again here at some point. And when we do, if… well, I was going to say if it’s ultimately her opinion that I should stop doing the blog, then that’s what I’m going to do. But I don’t want to sound like I’m putting it on her. If there’s no way around the issues she raised, I’m going to stop doing the blog because that’s the best thing to do.

I’ll be honest, I thought about not mentioning this at all and just announcing that the blog would be going on a break. And in the meantime, if we decided I wouldn’t do the blog anymore, then on February 1st I’d post a message that the blog’s actually closing and goodbye. But that’s not how I’d want to leave, by dropping it on everyone out of the blue.

I thought I’d just be as honest as I can. And the honest truth is that I don’t know what’s going to happen at the moment. This kinda caught me off guard. But February 1st is less than a month away, so I felt I should say something.

BTW, I fully realize this is a bigger deal to me than to any of you. You’re like “Oh no, a porn tumblr might close. Whatever will I do? It only happens five times a day”. But for me, my entire life has changed since starting this silly little blog. And I would be sad to close the door on it.

So… anyway. I will keep you updated.

But no matter what happens, there will probably be a lot more posts between now and February 1st as I empty out my stash of gifs and stories and whatnot. Even if I’m only going on a break, there’s no point in saving a bunch of stuff. I initially thought about trying to have posts queued up in the event of a blog hiatus, but something would have to be posted every day and it would run out too fast. So I figured I’d just post it all before I left.

So there’s that, at least.

Bye for now.

Well, we got kinda derailed there with my computer troubles. But I promised I’d tell you about our little trip we took a couple weeks ago to look at houses and whatnot. Not that it’s particularly interesting or anything, but hey.

The house part isn’t all that interesting, at least. Going in, I didn’t really have anything specific I wanted in our new house. She’s been asking me for a while to make like a list of features I want, but I didn’t have anything. Other than her being there. That’s what I’m looking for in a house, for her to be in it. If the house comes with her, I’m pretty sure I’ll like it.

But after seeing some houses, I’m kinda into bathrooms now. Like the main bathroom that connects to the master bedroom. The “en suite” they apparently call it. We saw this bathroom in one house and it looked like something out of a spa. There were these silver strips going up the front and back walls of the shower with multiple nozzles in them. So the water shoots out in several streams. And there’s really no front or back to the shower because it gets you from both ends. Then there was a big square thing overhead that brings water straight down on you like rain.

It was really cool. And with no front or back it’s perfect for two people to shower at once, which is nice. I wanted to take a shower in it right then, but it turns out that’s frowned upon if you don’t own the house.

So that was the one thing I told the realtor I really wanted, a cool bathroom like that. Otherwise I mostly walked around the houses we looked at thinking “Hmm, we could do it there and right there and over there”. Examining every single room for potential sex spots, that was my thing.

But beyond all that, we talked a lot beforehand about whether we were going to say we were a couple while we were there. It’s a weird thing, as you can probably imagine. Or maybe you can’t really imagine it, but you can probably appreciate that it’s weird.

It’s like… in terms of presenting ourselves as a couple, the smart thing would seem to be to take it slow. Dip our toe in the water carefully. Because if we go there outwardly as a couple and then, oops, someone who knows us somehow lives down the street, that’s going to be awkward. And as unlikely as something like may be, I think we have to be prepared.

But at the same time, say that on the day we move in some neighbors come up to introduce themselves. Do we not say we’re a couple? Do we try to be vague and then months later, once we’re comfortable with it, be like “Oh hey, by the way, we’re a couple”? And what if when they come over to introduce themselves, they ask what our relationship is? Some people are nosy like that.

So we decided, at least for this one week there, that we weren’t going to like flaunt anything. We weren’t going to make out in public. But if it came up, yeah, we were a couple. And we figured it would come up because we dealt with this one realtor our whole time there. If we were just meeting her once, that would be one thing. But seeing her several times, it was hard to imagine it not coming up at some point.

And it did come up. Right on the first day. We mentioned being together and the realtor lady didn’t even seem to think twice about it. Not that if she was thinking like “You are? Seriously?” that she would have shown it. She wants to sell a house. But still, it was our first real public declaration of being a couple. And it went well. It was pretty awesome, really.

I think on our vacations we’ve probably met random people and said that we were a couple. I don’t remember doing it this year, but in the past we may have. Doing it in the place we’re moving to, though, that felt a lot more meaningful.

Anyway… we didn’t make any final decisions as far as a house goes, but we narrowed it down to a couple. Although I think we may still look at a few more. But we’re going back again the second week of 2016 to hopefully make a final decision.

So that’s that. We’ll talk again soon.

Why, hello there. I thought I’d write up this little post to give you an idea of what’s been going on over the last month or so, since I got back from vacation.

Our trip was a lot of fun, as always. I’ve talked about this before but it’s so much fun being able to behave like a normal couple in public. Then conversely it sucks when we have to come back home and hide it again.

But hopefully the hiding won’t be necessary for too much longer. Because our big move is getting closer. We’ve known when we’re going to move for several months now, but we hadn’t really told anyone. People my mom works with knew because she had to tell them she was leaving. Nobody really knew other than that, though.

But since we got back from our vacation, I told my dad about it. I just told him that Mom is moving to take a job at a new place and I’m gonna go with her. He fully understood. He knows there’s nothing going on for me where she and I currently live. So he was happy for me.

We’ve told other people about it too, but to me telling him was the big thing. So now it’s done and it feels real that this is actually moving forward and everything.

But there’s still a lot of stuff we have to do. And since getting back from vacation, things have been pretty busy. I’m finding I don’t really have a lot of time to devote to the blog lately. So bear with me, I guess, as we move forward these next few months.

And sometime next month, I’m not sure when yet, we’re going to fly out to where we’re moving and look at houses. I’m don’t know how long we’re going to be there. At first it was just going to be for a weekend, but lately she’s been talking about going out there for a week or so to give us more time. So we’ll see what happens there.

I guess that’s all I have to say. I’m mostly caught on on answering questions from while I was gone, at least the private ones. I’m working on a questions post to answer the anonymous ones. But anytime a lot of messages build up, stuff falls through the cracks.

In fact, before I left on vacation I had almost gotten my inbox completely up to date. And tumblr still showed there were over 60 messages in there when in reality there were maybe 10. That means somewhere around 50 messages got eaten by tumblr over the last several months. They could have been questions, comments, stories, who knows. So if you had a question you never heard back about, that may be why. Feel free to re-send and hopefully we’ll have better luck.

I think that’s everything I wanted to say. BYE.

Things are getting better. I’m still thinking about stuff but I’m not obsessing and worrying over it like I was at the start of the week. I talked before about the glass being half full or half empty, but I realize now the glass is entirely full. She’s OK and that’s all that matters. Genuinely awful permanent things happen every day and as scary as it was, if my biggest worry is a fluke incident where something bad almost happened then I’m obviously pretty lucky.

But I do want to mention that I got several really nice letters from readers describing their own similar (and much worse) scares with loved ones and how they reacted in the aftermath. I want to thank them and everyone who sent in a supportive note. I truly appreciate it.

I’ll probably come back later on this afternoon and answer some questions because those are piling up. And then in the days to come we’ll get back to the usual postings with the sexy boobies and the dirty picture stories of the people doing the sex.

Or maybe in the end it was good. I don’t know. I guess maybe it’s one of those glass half full or half empty situations. Except I would usually consider myself a half full type of person and yet I feel like I’m focusing really hard on the negatives of it.

(Warning: nothing about this post is sexy or fun in any way. But I thought maybe writing about it would make me feel better.)

My mom started choking the other day (Sunday). Couldn’t-breathe choking. I-had-to-do-the-Heimlich-maneuver-on-her choking. It was pretty awful. Awful for about 30 seconds for her and awful for the last two days and counting for me.

I had to go somewhere Sunday afternoon and I was probably 10 seconds from leaving when I heard a crash from the kitchen, which is where she was. A crash like plates or something got knocked onto the floor. I walked back in to see what happened and I saw she was choking. She knocked something off the table when she stood up.

I think outwardly I was pretty calm but inside I panicked pretty much immediately. I got her in position for the heimlich and did two or three thrusts and it didn’t work. Then I really started to panic because I started remembering how when I was a kid and learned CPR and all that stuff, they taught us the heimlich. But then when I was around 16 we had to do CPR in gym class and the lady who came to teach us acted like the heimlich wasn’t what you do anymore. She talked about back slaps and maybe then the heimlich after that.

So I started thinking did I screw up? Should I have done the back slaps first? Am I even doing it right? Why isn’t it working? My mind was going in a bunch of different directions. Meanwhile the life of the person I love most in the whole world was in the balance. Ultimately I re-gripped her and did the heimlich two more times and it worked. She was OK.

What happened right after is kind of a blur. I know we hugged and I was asking if she was OK and everything. She said she was fine. Well, she ended up a little sore and bruised. But otherwise OK.

But after a minute or so it was like the heaviness of the situation, that in the blink of an eye she potentially could have died, hit me like a truck. I got really really freaked out and I was hugging her to me and I couldn’t let go. She kept saying it was OK and she was OK and was basically trying to calm me down. Which is more than a little embarrassing, that this happened to her and it ends up that she’s trying to make me feel better.

So right when I finally started to calm down, it hit me that I had been about to leave when this happened. Another minute, not even a minute, and I wouldn’t have known anything was wrong. So what then? What if I hadn’t been able to help? What if I’d come home and found her dead on the kitchen floor?

Then I REALLY started freaking out. To the point of physically getting sick. She continued trying to calm me down and everything. Although she did say jokingly afterwards that she kinda liked seeing me freak out like that. You know, cause I only reacted like that because I love her so much.

But anyway, for her it was like 30 seconds of unpleasantness and then it was over. And she looks at it like a positive experience. She said it’s not that she ever doubted she could count on me in a bad situation, but now she knows she can. She said she feels even closer to me than ever. More than a few times, in between lots and lots of kisses, she’s called me her hero. Which is obviously pretty nice.

But I’ve spent the last two days feeling lousy. It’s just scary to think of how close the worst possible thing that could ever happen came to actually happening. And I can’t stop thinking about it. Not the choking incident specifically, just how quickly everything could be ruined forever. What if something awful happens when she’s driving to work? Or when she’s driving home? What if something like this happens again when I’m not there? What if what if.

I hope all this worrying goes away soon. I’m not sure writing this helped quite like I was hoping it would, but I wrote it so I might as well share it. I’m truly sorry if this upset anyone or brought up bad memories or anything like that.

It’s officially official. We know exactly when we’ll be moving. It’s not gonna happen for many many many months, since as I’ve discussed before my mom has her work schedule mapped out a long time in advance. But she now knows when her last day will be. Which means we know when we’ll be able to move.

It’s pretty exciting. Just moving in itself is exciting, I guess. Going to a new place and all that. But it’s especially exciting since it kinda represents like a whole new life for us. Hopefully, anyway.

There’s lots of things to be done, like getting our current house ready to sell and all that. So it’s a good thing it’s a long way away. But even so, I wish it was happening like… right now. Or tomorrow at the latest.

Anyway, I just thought I’d let you know.

hey man, are you still gonna talk about your vacay with your mom? was looking foward to hearing how it was.

Well, to be honest, there really isn’t all that much to discuss. But yeah, I’m still gonna talk about it.

Is right now a good time for you?

Keep reading

Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Anniversary!
Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Anniversary!
Happy Happy Happy Happy–
SHUT IT!

Good for you if you know that reference. Today, yes today, is the TWO YEAR anniversary of this tumblr! So… you know. I thought I’d write a little bit about it. Most notably an update of sorts on recent developments in my personal situation, if that interests you at all.

(Yes, this means there’s no porn today. Sorry.)

Ready? Let’s go!

Keep reading

Now that the never-ending vacation story actually ended, I thought I’d take a moment to talk about the blog and like… the future and where we go from here and similarly exciting topics like that. I’ve gotten a lot of questions and feedback about that topic the past few months, so I want to address it to let people know what my thoughts are.

Keep reading

Finally.

Keep reading

The never ending story continues.

I have updated the site description, by the way. And the FAQ. Not updating it seemed to irk a lot of you, so hopefully you can put your minds at ease now. It has been done.

Keep reading

I know it’s been a while. So if you want to revisit the first two parts real quick, I’ll understand.

Keep reading

I’m sorry this took so long. There were a lot of reasons - I didn’t have a lot of time to write it being chief among them.

But it was also hard for me to write in a way. I’ll explain what I mean as we get further into it.

Keep reading